A step in the path of the Hero's journey
(see the full journey at the main journey page)
Refusal of the CallThe hero, upon hearing and feeling the power of the call to his/her new adventure, may at first hold back. He/She may be unwilling to take what may seem like a risky course of action and hesitate or be pensive about making any unnecessary changes in his/her life. He/she may feel alone and reluctant. Or, the hero might even consider himself/herself to be relatively happy and comfortable. There really are many reasons that may contribute to refusing to answer the Call. Personal responsibilities may hold the hero back from stepping forward. Perhaps "making waves" and enacting change is more frightening than leaving things as they are. Perhaps, stepping into the unknown seems foolish and risky. Perhaps, they simply do not see any value in the adventure.
Guilt can play a role in refusing the Call. The refusal may well be prompted by an individual, such as a wife, husband or parent. The Hero may let others tell them that they "shouldn't" undertake the Call. Or, perhaps worse, the Hero's internal critical voice has been given great authority that can make them feel inferior, and holds him/her back from stepping forward. In healthy relationships, choices are often made to help one another grow.
At the time of your Call to Adventure, having compassion can be very important for you to successfully answer the Call. Having a strong sense of compassion can also be important for leading a healthy psychological life. First and foremost, compassion is a skill. We all can develop it. Without compassion, your self-esteem can suffer. It's important to know that you are not wrong for having desires, or wanting things to be different in your life. However, you may first need compassion to be able to soften the feelings of guilt, and the voice of both your inner and outer critics.
You may also need to develop forgiveness, for yourself and others. It can help you to work with your upset, displeasure and frustration. It can also help you to become more accepting of yourself and others. Having forgiveness doesn't mean that you'll let others hurt you. But, it does mean that you are willing to accept the fact that they can grow, change and develop themselves psychologically, so that they will be more self aware of how their words or actions can impact others. Forgiveness is also about accepting yourself as you are, while still allowing space for your own growth and change.
In addition, it is important to realize that the Call itself is special. Our normal routines, obligations, chores, jobs and responsibilities are a part of our daily lives. The Call is special and unique. It does not come along everyday. It's up to you to recognize it's importance in your life, and have the capacity, strength and stamina to be able to answer it. But, whatever happens you should recognize your value and importance in the world. Also, recognize that there can be value in almost every experience.
Learning to look back on your life and personal experiences, from a place of gratitude can help you to see the value of your own experiences. Gratitude can also help you to develop acceptance, satisfaction, compassion, and humility. These emotions can be helpful, in dealing with the challenges and experiences that we face as we develop as individuals. The lessons learned, and importance placed on them, do vary from person to person. Whatever form your lessons happen to take, they help to serve and shape you into the person that you are today. When you know how difficult a situation can be, you may even be more willing to lend a helping hand to someone who is having a difficult time in their own life. You might be the encouraging voice that says it's "Okay," to answer the Call.
Examples of Refusing the Call:
* In "Star Wars", Luke is weighed down with the obligations of the family farm, and he initially refused to help Obi Wan. But Imperial forces that were looking for C3P0 and R2D2 destroyed Luke's home and murdered his aunt and uncle. Luke then decided to help Obi Wan.
* In "The Matrix", Neo, hesitates and he is arrested and meets Agent Smith. At first, Agent Smith tries to tempt him away from answering the Call.
* In the Bible, in Genesis, there is the story of Lot and his wife who are fleeing captivity. Lot's wife turns back, as she was warned not to do, and is turned into a pillar of salt.
* In the Hebrew scriptures, The TANAKh contains several stories about various people who refused the call, such as Jonah.
* In the television show "Heroes", we see many heroes who both accept and reject themselves and their calling. One of the most prominent characters is the politician named Nathan, who initially wants to refuse his Call.
* In the television show "Lost", we see Jack as reluctant leader, but is constantly unwilling to believe what that there is anything special about the island or his reason for being there. He seems to be in a constant state of refusing the Call. He is also one of the few people to actually get "sick".
* In the books based on "The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant", by Stephen Donaldson, Thomas believes he is only dreaming.
Some "Call to Adventure" questions for thought:
- Have you witnessed any benefits from answering a Call?
- What Calls have you answered in your life?
- Which Calls were the hardest, or easiest, to answer?
- What was the end result, of answering a Call?
- Have you ever had a Call and refused it?
- Have you ever been too late to answer a Call?
- Have you witnessed someone else accepting a Call?
- Have you prevented someone else from accepting a Call?
- Have you regretted answering a Call?
- Have you comforted someone who was unable to answer a Call?
- If you failed to answer a Call, what prevented you from doing so?
- Have you encouraged someone else to answer a Call?
Bear in mind, if you are going to amount to anything, that your success does not depend upon the brilliance and the impetuosity with which you take hold, but upon the ever lasting and sanctified bull doggedness with which you hang on after you have taken hold." -- Dr. AB Meldrum
