Of course, letting go of your unhealthy or non-supportive relationships might not be an easy process. We often become connected to others who are similar to people from our past, such as our parents, siblings and guardians. Sometimes, these relationships are loaded with dependency issues or other problems and they do not support us. And, at certain times we can fall back into our old habits. This is where working with and honoring the Shadow can be of benefit, as we're often unable to accept our own power or are blind to our own limiting patterns.
Without working with the Shadow or finding ways to live more consciously, we can draw to us the people who tend to keep us connected to our patterns. These people are often not capable of being available, supportive or encouraging. Yet, with enough healing, patience, time and courage we can develop more awareness of our own habits, patterns and traits. As we become more aware of the people and situations that do support us, we can let go of the relationships that hold us back from moving forward in our lives.
Letting go of relationships may be difficult because we are not honest with ourselves. You might start to be more honest with yourself about the extent to which your partner is really supporting your needs. Then you might question yourself about what you are looking for in a relationship. Perhaps what you're really yearning for from a relationship, is really inside of you! When you begin to honor those parts of yourself that you admire and wish for in others, then you can begin to actually love the person you are with, instead of creating an idealized partner.
Letting go, also means that you understand that you are not perfect. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect. Give yourself some freedom and learn to let go of your judging or critical voice. This is where work with the Enneagram and Voice Dialogue can be very beneficial.
Letting go is also about allowing yourself to become more rational and realistic about your own capabilities. There are certain things that you simply can't do. There are things that are outside of your control. There are also situations and events that you are not responsible for and you have no obligation to change them.
As you delve into your process of letting go you might want to ask some of the following questions:
* How do I see myself? (represented by your Soul Number)
* How do others see me? (represented by your Outer Number)
* What are my strengths, and how can I best use them?
* What are my perceived weaknesses, and how do I let them limit me?
* What do I want to achieve? (represented by your Life Path)
* Am I willing to take responsible risks? (represented by your Maturity Number)
* Which strengths do I need to cultivate the most? (represented by your Destiny Number)
Take some quiet time to jot down your answers to these questions. You may want to talk with a close friend or a well qualified therapist to help you to learn more about yourself and begin the process of letting go.
At a deeper and more intimate level you can consider your answers as part of your personal myth, or your own life story. Carl Jung, Joseph Campbell and others talked and wrote extensively about how the exploration your personal myths would help you to break free of your personal limitations.
Utilizing your own words, stories and imagery in the act of letting go, helps to bring about personal growth, consciousness and awareness. Just being aware of your own personal, and mythic, stories can provide a launching pad for some of the most important self discoveries of your life.
How can your personal numbers help with the process of letting go?
Your Life Path, can help with the process of letting go, by helping you to focus on all of your important goals, especially those related to the long term. Do your present circumstances help or hinder you on your path? If you feel weighed down by some situation then perhaps it is time to find a way to let go.
Your Outer Number can help with the process of letting go, by allowing you to see yourself the way others might see you. It can help to give you a fresh perspective. By understanding it, you can learn to be more conscious of the way in which you lead your life. You might then be able to find ways to grow past personal limitations and restrictions. You might use your Outer Number as a conversation starter when you ask significant people in your about how they see you. Do they see you as courageous? Where do you shine? Where do you hide? Where are your pitfalls?
Your Outer Number can help you to better see both your strengths and your weaknesses and especially those traits that you don't recognize as even having. Your Outer Number is also those characteristics or parts of yourself that you feel comfortable sharing with the outside world. As you mature you can begin to let go of this mask and allow the world to see the real you.
How you see yourself relates to your Soul Number. It illustrates your inner strengths, dreams and desires. It is those parts of yourself that you keep to yourself and may not be comfortable sharing with people that you are not close to. Your Soul Number can help with the process of letting go by helping you to let go of habits and characteristics that no longer support you.
With your Soul Number you can reconnect with your inner dreams and let go of the critical voice that says you can't achieve them. Many people keep their dreams or desires hidden. You might want to use your Soul Number to open up a conversation with the significant people in your life and see where they might be able to assist you in stepping closer toward your dreams. Don't let your dreams take a back seat in your life for very long, as this can devalue your soul and erode your self confidence.
Your Maturity Number can help you in the process of letting go by helping you to make choices that allow you to be as successful as you can be. It can guide you to solutions that correspond to your path in life and your inner desires. With it, you can see which decisions are best for your overall psychological health and growth.
Your Destiny Number can help you in the process of letting go by allowing you to see the choices that you have made that are supportive of your ultimate goals and dreams. When you feel that you have unmet desires, listening to the guidance that this number can provide can help you to make the course corrections that are necessary for leading a more fulfilled life.
As you develop a better understanding of yourself and your abilities, you will be better able to make healthy and conscious choices. You will know when it is time to let go. You will know whether a certain role has been outgrown. Of course, the people in your life may see in you in a particular way. Often, those closest to us become accustomed to accepting us in certain roles. As you improve your understanding of yourself, and how people perceive you, you may ask yourself the following questions:
* Is this a healthy role?
* Am I afraid of the story that I find myself in?
* Is this a demeaning role?
* Is this particular perception impacting me negatively in my present life?
* Have I outgrown that role?
* What stories or myths does this role relate to?
* How can I grow as an individual and accept a new and significant role?
* Am I the hero of my own life?
Contemplating your answers
The answers to these questions can help you in your process of letting go and they will help you to develop and mature the relationships in your life. Healthy relationships will usually have the capacity to grow and mature. You can help your relationships to reach new levels by being aware of the roles you play and learning to take risks and letting go of the situations and roles that no longer support you.
